"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears" Psalms 34:4
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Praises and Optimism
Today I witnessed the miraculous power of God and prayer. I met with a high risk doctor who said my sub chorionic hematoma has shrunk somewhat and is HEALING!!!! I still have to take it VERY easy, but he thinks this baby should make it here just fine! Kyle and I both had tears in our eyes of pure joy! Three weeks ago we were told our baby had a 50% chance of making it and today we have pure optimism! Thank you for all of the prayers and support! They are truly working! God is good!
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
The power of prayer: 15 weeks
I could cry just typing this post...And these are happy tears, my friends. I made it past the most critical week, the first week after discovering the sub chorionic bleed. Nothing can be done medically, so I know it is the power of prayer and God's work. When I heard the baby's heartbeat Monday, I have never felt so relieved. He/she is one tough little baby to have survived this! I know I still have a long road ahead, but am so thankful for making it past the first hurdle.
Let me tell you, this is a mental game as much as it is physical. Last week I had multiple breakdowns. I had to really focus on God and keep myself in His word. When Krews was a baby, I did the Jesus Calling devotional and loved it. When school started, I decided it would be the perfect before school devo along with prayer time. I am so glad I did this because each day has linked me with scriptures preaching the following messages to me:
Rest in ME
Worship ME
Come to ME and rest
Rejoice in ME
Receive MY peace
Walk with ME
Accept each day with help from ME
Trust in ME
All of those messages are true everyday, but have really spoken to me in my current situation. It is so hard being in difficult situation, but I cannot even describe to you how close it draws you to God. It is amazing how God works in your life when you cling to Him and turn your troubles over to Him. One day last week, I was sleeping and home alone. I woke up feeling like someone was sitting on my bed. I called out to see if Kyle was home or maybe my mom was there. I was completely alone, but felt like I wasnt. I feel like God was with me. One night I had a breakdown on Kyle, worrying about if the baby would be able to survive. I sat and prayed and read scripture until I calmed down. I have actually lost weight during this pregnancy, but woke up the next morning to feel and see the perfect baby bump. I feel like that was God's way of reassuring me.
I want to thank you all for you prayers and concern. Please continue them! It is amazing to feel such a strong sense of community from friends and family! I am so thankful!!
Let me tell you, this is a mental game as much as it is physical. Last week I had multiple breakdowns. I had to really focus on God and keep myself in His word. When Krews was a baby, I did the Jesus Calling devotional and loved it. When school started, I decided it would be the perfect before school devo along with prayer time. I am so glad I did this because each day has linked me with scriptures preaching the following messages to me:
Rest in ME
Worship ME
Come to ME and rest
Rejoice in ME
Receive MY peace
Walk with ME
Accept each day with help from ME
Trust in ME
All of those messages are true everyday, but have really spoken to me in my current situation. It is so hard being in difficult situation, but I cannot even describe to you how close it draws you to God. It is amazing how God works in your life when you cling to Him and turn your troubles over to Him. One day last week, I was sleeping and home alone. I woke up feeling like someone was sitting on my bed. I called out to see if Kyle was home or maybe my mom was there. I was completely alone, but felt like I wasnt. I feel like God was with me. One night I had a breakdown on Kyle, worrying about if the baby would be able to survive. I sat and prayed and read scripture until I calmed down. I have actually lost weight during this pregnancy, but woke up the next morning to feel and see the perfect baby bump. I feel like that was God's way of reassuring me.
I want to thank you all for you prayers and concern. Please continue them! It is amazing to feel such a strong sense of community from friends and family! I am so thankful!!
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Baby #4 with a major prayer request
Everyone told me after our miscarriage (I still hate that word) that I would most likely get pregnant in the near future. It turns out everyone was right. I found out this summer I was expecting again. And I have been scared, excited, nervous, and prayerful ever since. I have constantly worried about our 4th baby, but told myself I had to turn my worry over to God. At 7 weeks, we had a great ultrasound. At 12 weeks we heard the sweet little heartbeat on the doppler, and decided it was time to share our news with our boys. Today marks 14 weeks. We are so thankful to God for giving us another precious life!
On Wednesday I went to the doctor not feeling well and sure enough had a UTI. I took it easy and took my meds and by Sunday night was actually feeling a lot worse. I knew Monday was Labor Day and I decided just to try to make it to Tuesday and then go back to the doctor. That plan changed when I woke up at 3:30am bleeding. I went to the ER and was given a shot of strong antibiotics along with new oral antibiotics. The ER doctor thought it was just from the infection being so strong. I went home and felt light headed and went back to bed. This time I woke up to a scary scene of blood and went back to the ER. It turns out I have a large sub chorionic bleed that is causing the placenta to seperate from the uterine wall. Basically at this point the bleeding will stop and it will heal, or it won't and the placenta will continue to seperate causing the baby to be deprived of oxygen. The doctor said it can go either way.
It makes me completely sick to even type all of this information. Kyle and I watched our baby on the ultrasound wave at us, put his/her little arm behind its head, and move around so healthy and full of life. We already lost another baby 5 months ago. It completely pains me.
Why am I put in this situation? I have no idea. I do know that I pray every day to serve God and bring glory to Him in my life. You can't pick what problems you will have in life and God will never give you more than you can handle. Right now there is nothing medically that can be done. It is 110% in God's hands. I am a control freak and like to have answers and solutions. How much better is this situation in God's hands than mine though!
The answer that I do have right now are that this baby is God's perfectly created child and he has a plan for him/her. I also know that I am His child and I trust completely in Him and will faithfully serve him no matter the outcome. I pray to be given the chance to have this baby and train him/her to serve him as well.
I am sharing this because so many people have been so good to me and my family over the past five months. I am also sharing to continue to share the story of God's work and faithfulness in our lives. I am overwhelmed by how many people have prayed for and been such a blessing to us. I ask each of you to PLEASE pray for our baby and pray for our family. God is the only one who can save this situation. I promise to keep you all posted.
On Wednesday I went to the doctor not feeling well and sure enough had a UTI. I took it easy and took my meds and by Sunday night was actually feeling a lot worse. I knew Monday was Labor Day and I decided just to try to make it to Tuesday and then go back to the doctor. That plan changed when I woke up at 3:30am bleeding. I went to the ER and was given a shot of strong antibiotics along with new oral antibiotics. The ER doctor thought it was just from the infection being so strong. I went home and felt light headed and went back to bed. This time I woke up to a scary scene of blood and went back to the ER. It turns out I have a large sub chorionic bleed that is causing the placenta to seperate from the uterine wall. Basically at this point the bleeding will stop and it will heal, or it won't and the placenta will continue to seperate causing the baby to be deprived of oxygen. The doctor said it can go either way.
It makes me completely sick to even type all of this information. Kyle and I watched our baby on the ultrasound wave at us, put his/her little arm behind its head, and move around so healthy and full of life. We already lost another baby 5 months ago. It completely pains me.
Why am I put in this situation? I have no idea. I do know that I pray every day to serve God and bring glory to Him in my life. You can't pick what problems you will have in life and God will never give you more than you can handle. Right now there is nothing medically that can be done. It is 110% in God's hands. I am a control freak and like to have answers and solutions. How much better is this situation in God's hands than mine though!
The answer that I do have right now are that this baby is God's perfectly created child and he has a plan for him/her. I also know that I am His child and I trust completely in Him and will faithfully serve him no matter the outcome. I pray to be given the chance to have this baby and train him/her to serve him as well.
I am sharing this because so many people have been so good to me and my family over the past five months. I am also sharing to continue to share the story of God's work and faithfulness in our lives. I am overwhelmed by how many people have prayed for and been such a blessing to us. I ask each of you to PLEASE pray for our baby and pray for our family. God is the only one who can save this situation. I promise to keep you all posted.
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