Remembering Grandaddy

Saturday night I lost my last grandparent, my Grandaddy. He had been in declining health, but we weren't prepared to let him go yet. My mother asked me to give the eulogy. I was happy to do it, but then became almost sick before it was time. I was worried I wouldn't be able to speak the right words and make it thru without crying. Below is the message I delivered about this wonderful man.

One of my earliest memories is climbing in the car to drive to Rose Bud to visit my grandparents. Both Gee and Grandaddy's lives revolved around work and family. We would always drive straight to the center of town to Stark Building Supply, my grandparents hardware store. I know so many of you loved the building supply store. Not just for the products, but mostly for walking in to see gee and Grandaddy and talk to them. We would walk in and find my Gee behind the cash register visiting with customers and my Grandaddy out in the fertilizer store area. we would take money out of the cash drawer and walk across the street to the quick stop. I would make myself the biggest ice cream cone I could manage and then we would walk back. Now if you were my older cousins you got to go to the donut store with Grandaddy before school and get french fries made special for you. After the store closed, We would head to their house on the farm and watch Gee make pork chops in the skillet, while Grandaddy fed the horses. After dinner, the activity was whatever was requested. My grandparents were so young and active that I often feel robbed of time. Especially now in the last few days since we lost Grandaddy. We would head outside and catch lightning bugs in a mason jar. Some nights we would get empty feed sacks to make a diamond in the yard and play a family baseball game. Other nights were spent on the mechanical bull Grandaddy made with an old tank hooked up between two trees with an old mattress underneath in case we fell off. Then we would come inside while Grandaddy watched bull riding and would take turns sitting on his knee as he pretended to be a bull and knock us off. There were also many trips down to their creek to catch crawdads or swim. We actually took all of the great grandkids to catch crawdads on Sunday, and I can only imagine the joy that brought to Gee and Grandaddy, as they had just been reunited in heaven to see their family enjoying the traditions they built. It wasn't anything fancy, but was so picturesque and special. They were both always so happy and truly enjoyed our company. I can say with full confidence that they  lived the small town American Dream that is rare to come across in our world today. 

My cousins would always be at their house. And if they weren't I would immediately call them upon my arrival so everyone could be together. 

My brother would spend his summers in Rose Bud. Every morning he had a homemade breakfast and if his frisbee happened to end up of the roof Grandaddy would climb up and get it. Austin would sleep on a couch in their bedroom. The couch top was lined with small stuffed animals that he won out of a machine. Gee and Grandaddy would put endless quarters in the toy machine at the local restaurant just so Austin could win his prize of stuffed animals to decorate their room. I spend the night one Saturday night on a whim. I was so excited because I got to sleep in my cousins new kids on the block t shirt she kept in their closet. Gee told me to get ready for church the next and I said, "But I have nothing to wear!"

She immediately told me it didn't matter what I wore, it just mattered that I went to church at this very church. We ALL went to church and she was right it didn't matter. Talk about an impression at an early age. 

When my mom would talk to my grandparents on the phone when I was younger, Grandaddy would ask to talk to me. As soon as I got on the phone he would say, "You sure are lookin good tonight!"

I would laugh hysterically as he would tell me his phone had a TV and he could see me thru it. I still giggle to this day about it because I thought a phone with a TV seemed so futuristic and that he had such a big imagination.   

When you walked into Gee and Grandaddy's house two things were always a given. One was that Fox News was always playing and two that it was always an icebox in the house. You could always look under the counter and find the best stash of little debbie treats. For a snack we would homemade popcorn made in a special pan. And every Christmas we would watch Grandaddy cut down a tree and he would always joke that we could only have a Charlie Brown sized tree. 

I also remember the hospitality shown by gee and Grandaddy both. Their front door was always open. No knock even needed. They always had visitors coming just to check in on them. That kind of hospitality and welcoming is rare these days. 

Grandaddy had a hard time watching Gee struggle to be so sick and eventually pass away. You could tell there was such a void in his heart, but he still did his best to stay involved with his family. He would come over to our homes for family dinners on occasion. He would visit everyone on Christmas and give them a crisp $50 bill. And He never went a day without visiting as he called it the quick stop. The other day I was visiting and needed to pick him up a coffee. I went in and said to a girl "you wouldn't happen to know what kind of coffee Nick Stark drinks?" She smiled really big and immediately fixed his coffee JUST like he liked it. He was a beloved member of his community. As a business owner, people always talked about the generosity he and Gee showed to everyone. If you needed in the store after hours no problem, he would come meet you and open it just for you. If you needed something donated, it was yours. He would have given you his last dollar and probably did on some days. 

If you were to visit with him at the building supply store or coffee shop, you know he liked to discuss politics. He was very smart and articulate. One time I remember being a dumb high school kid and saying something about not blaming France for not wanting to be involved in something. He came out of his chair and lectured me so quickly I am scared to even travel to France. One summer I worked at Fox News in New York and I don't think I've ever talked to the man so much on the phone. He LOVED hearing every single detail so he could have some insider information to share. He would ask me what "my friends" thought about this and that. He had no understanding that I was just a bottom of the line intern. And that sums up Grandaddy. He always saw the good in people and thought what you were doing was more important than it ever was. He supported all of us in every single thing we ever did. 

On the day Grandaddy died he looked so peaceful. He never suffered but also never lost his wit. When the nurse was moving him around he was semi awake grunting and she said you can hit me if you need. Without missing a beat he pulled his elbow back and punched her with the tiny strength he had left. All of his family was gathered in his room with him. At one point we were all giggling, telling stories, and talking about old times. I think that was the peace he needed to know he could leave, and the rest of us would be ok with the foundation he had spent his life giving us all. Before he died, he was fussing and fighting with my mom and cousin saying get off me and get out of my way. He was ready to GO! I can't help but wonder if he saw where he was going and was so ready to get here. When I was letting friends and family know the news I typed he's gone in my phone and auto type changed it to he's home. He is home with Jesus. He is Home with gee. Home with his parents and two of his brothers. Home with his own grandparents I am sure he missed as much as I miss mine. I hope you all know too that you will be Home one day as well.

Today is a celebration. A celebration of a life well lived and the rewards he is receiving in Heaven. Grandaddy never liked a formal affair. When he talked to you he always had something funny to share, so I'm going to end this the same way. 

A was a woman out golfing with friends one day. There was a group behind her so she hurried to tee off and fell down. One of the men in the group was Barack Obama (shocking he's golfing, I know) he helped her up and said hello m'am I'm Barack Obama I hope you can say you voted for me. She smiled sweetly and said "Sir, I fell on my behind, not on my head."