Why Paw Patrol Makes Me Cry

Ever since I became a mama, I have had the luxury of having a flexible schedule where I can do a lot of my work from home. As my kids have gotten older, I have been in the office more as my responsibilities have grow with time. However, I have always first and foremost always been a mama. It is my heart and my joy. When my kids were little, we rarely left the house and I was so content with that. Every morning I would turn the TV to nick jr/Disney jr because I have to have background noise. Note: I didn't say I turn on the TV because it was already on....I HAVE to sleep with the TV on. When we first got married, Kyle hated it. He has grown to deal with it on a very low volume. Any one else weird about TV/background noise?

Anyway, every morning we had our background noise while we ate our breakfast, played, got ready, you name it. And this has gone on for 5 years now. In today's time, we aren't necessarily home every morning, but we always have a good portion of the week at home and have our background noise at some point. Today when I heard Paw Patrol on, I started tearing up. My kids are growing up and becoming more busy with activities. This time next year, Krews will be starting Kindergarten and I will mourn not hearing Paw Patrol on in the background, and will regret every time I was burned out on hearing those same episodes over and over.

I know that time stands still for no man. Every year as my kids get older, I think they are growing too fast and it saddens me. One morning at church, I told a friend (who I admire so much in her parenting) how sad it made me that my kids were getting older. She said, "Oh but as they get older it just gets better and better."

It stunned me. I had never thought of my kids aging in these terms. As I thought about it I realized just how right she was....If I could go back in time I wouldn't. I would miss too many things that I have with my kids at their current stage. I would miss hearing them pray, listening to their little conversations, and seeing them blooming altogether.

I think it is human nature to hang onto the past. It is comforting and brings happiness. We sometimes even glorify the past and only remember the good. When I think about my kids as babies, I think of holding them tight, seeing their first smiles, and the smell of them after a bath. I never think about the lack of sleep, constant diapers, or times they were fussy.

Even thought I cherish every moment with my kids, I'm not going to live for the past anymore. I'm going to live in the present and embrace each stage. Every stage with my kids will have joys, and I want to focus on those and live for them! While I will always have a special place in my heart for my time with Paw Patrol in the background, I will have other special things with my boys.

And if all else fails, I just bought a Paw Patrol DVD for my car so Rocky and the gang can always be with us....baby steps, fanny pack mom, baby steps.